institutional
by dawn in the fields
Summary: There was something wrong with him. And they were going to fix it. [but he didn’t want them to—] [marluxia, larxene, axel]


Warnings: the usual, OOCness, inaccuracy, bad writing, death, suicide, anorexia, and hints of Larxene/Marluxia/Axel friendship. x3  
Disclaimer: I've been having these weird thoughts lately...like, is everything for real or not? (I don't own it kthxbai.)  
Music: Seventh Heaven, Honey--L'arc en Ciel  
For: Honestly? For myself. To remind me that I'm still sane.

* * *

The air conditioner sent a breeze across the back of the man's neck; shudders ran down his arms and legs. It was too cold, but he'd much rather just sit there and stare everything. Nothing. Anything. 

The door opened. He didn't turn.

'I'm leaving.' The woman said, peering into his room.

'Good for you.' He didn't bother looking at her.

'Marluxia. Look at me,' she ordered.

'Why should I?'

The woman protested. She gave up not long after and shut the door.

'I'll try and visit you when I can.'

* * *

'Who are you, kid? That's _my_ spot,' the blonde said. She was pissed today. Shit happened. 

He glared. 'I could ask you the exact something, _dearie_,' he hissed. He wasn't a kid.

She smirked. 'I like your attitude. Name's Larxene.'

'Marluxia,' he replied.

There was silence.

'That's still my spot, you fag.'

* * *

'So, why are you here?' the blonde asked offhandedly, picking non-existent dirt (_they never got to do anything--)_ from beneath her fingernails. 

They were sitting on the couch. Or rather, sprawled on it—they figured they could _at least_ take up the space the wanted to in the goddamned '_recreation room_' that didn't have anything to fucking do in it.

'_What_?' Marluxia asked. He wasn't expecting that. Then again, he hadn't been expecting that woman to leave him here either. He had a crap sense of expecting things, it seemed.

Larxene waved a hand idly. It nearly hit him in the face, and he slapped it away. She glared and brought it closer to his nose just to spite him. 'You had to do _something_ to get thrown in this loony bin, kid. With all the other freaks.'

Marluxia frowned. 'I'm not 'kid'. I have a name. 'sides, how old are you to be calling me that?'

'I'm eighteen, thank you very much. And since when do _you_ have a name?'

'Well, well. Same here. And I've always had a name, Larxene dear. It's Marluxia,' he snapped back cattily.

'Too long,' she said airily. 'I'm calling you Marly.'

'Fuck no.' He scowled. 'You do that and I'm calling you Larxy.'

'…fine, retard. Does Marxy suit your majesty's refined tastes?' she said mockingly.

'Drop the 'y' and we'll call it even.'

'You've got yourself a deal, Marx.'

She never did find out why he was there that day.

* * *

He stepped out of the shower, water dripping down the long brown-pink strands of hair. He quickly pulled his clothes on, uncaring of the fact that they were getting _wet_. 

He frowned, seeing his reflection in the mirror. When did his hair get so goddamned long? He didn't want to know how long he'd been in the fucking mental institute from hell. He wanted to get rid of it, _now_. Go back to the way he was, even. Maybe. Just maybe.

(may bees don't fly in September—)

* * *

'Oi. Larxene,' he demanded, pushing her door open and intruding without a shred of regret. 

'What is it, Marx?' she drawled, half-ignoring him.

'You have scissors, right?'

'Only those pansy-ass dull-pointed ones that they give elementary kids to cut fucking construction paper with because the shitty plastic ones can't.' She frowned. 'You're not planning on killed yourself, are you? Because if you died I wouldn't have anyone to torment.'

'Nice to know I'm loved. Can you cut my hair?'

'I'm not a hairdresser.'

'Would you rather I ask the counselors?'

'Fine. Get your ass over here.'

They left the bloody-bathtowel-pink-brown strands on the floor. Neither of them remembered to clean it up.

Neither of them remembered it had happened when they came back.

(it was like old days, just better—)

* * *

'Who said we had to be here?' Marluxia asked arbitrarily one day. 

'What do you mean?' Larxene was in a forgiving mood. She didn't smack him upside the head this time.

'Who says we're the crazy ones? If normal people deem other people are weird, then don't the weird people say the normal ones are weird? And doesn't everyone turn out weird that way?'

'Don't think, it'll hurt your brain.'

'I was being fucking serious, Larxene.'

'So was I, dipshit.'

There was silence. There seemed to be a lot of that lately.

'…I don't know, Marluxia. I really don't.'

(it was the first time she said his full name.)

* * *

'Really, why are you here?' the blonde asked, tired of the ambiguity. 

'What d'you mean?' he asked wearily. She asked this question at least once a week. He never answered.

'Why are you here in this goddamn place from the Black Lagoon?' she snarled. 'I want an answer or so help me I will stab this thing through your throat.'

It didn't help that she was waving a pink, plastic, coated hairpin.

'If I tell you, then you have to tell me.'

'_Fine_. Out with it, fairy,' she said.

'Suicidal thoughts.' He shrugged. 'That's what it said on the report, at least. Don't see the problem with 'em. Had them since I was twelve. Great companions, they are.'

She whistled. 'You are one fucked up kid.'

'Why thank you for the compliment. Now spill, it's your turn.'

'Decapitation fetish.'

'You're leaving something out, hun. I can tell'

'And the fact that I enjoy seeing people unwillingly bleed and die make you feel any better?'

'You must've had a field day watching Saw, didn't you?'

'Maybe.'

A pause.

'I'll try not to slit my wrists in front of you,' he said jokingly.

* * *

There was silence again. And frankly, the two reveled in it. 

Marluxia broke it.

'You got any relatives?'

Larxene shifted from her seat on the couch.

'Mom. Little brother. He can't remember me, though. Mother dearest sent me away when he was young. She remarried. Has this nice little photogenic family now,' she said bitterly.

A shit-eating grin spread on his face.

'Got a boyfriend waiting for you at home?' he said cockily.

'Got a death wish waiting for you right now?' she replied back cheerfully.

He frowned. 'Touché.'

'Anyways,' she continued. 'How about you?'

He shrugged, detached. 'Had a girlfriend. Had a boyfriend. Had a sister.'

'Not at the same time, I hope. Sister's dead?'

'Nah. I just don't feel like calling her my sister anymore. She left me here, you know.'

'I see.'

'And she hasn't visited _once_. She said she would.' He shrugged. 'It's not like I really care, more like it feels that she…doesn't care about me anymore. Maybe she just dropped me here to get me off her back.'

'I see what you mean. Horrible, isn't it?'

'Yeah.'

* * *

'Kid, this is my spot,' Larxene growled threateningly at the red-haired teenager on the couch. 

The man grinned defiantly. 'What's it to you, bitch?' he said, stretching out full-length.

'Marx, hand me something pointy,' she commanded, holding a hand out. The pink-head sighed, pulled a hairpin out and ripped the coating on the ends off with his teeth. He placed it in the blonde's hand.

'You had better get off that couch right now or so help me I will cut off your balls with this—this—' She took a look at the object in her hand. 'This hairpin.'

Aside, she whispered, 'Couldn't you have given me a safety pin or something? These things suck.'

Marluxia snorted. 'I'm suicidal, remember? They wouldn't give me a pointy object if my life depended on it,' he retorted in an equally quiet voice.'

'Oooh, I'm scared,' the boy on the couch said mockingly. 'Let's see, there's a gay fag who carries around _hairpins_ and a blonde dyke who's threatening me with one.' He snorted, standing up—the person was much taller than Larxene and a little taller than Marluxia.

'I don't think I will move after all.'

Larxene kicked him in the crotch.

He doubled over.

She grinned, seeing his pain. 'I guess this guy wasn't sent here because of an inferiority complex, that's for sure.'

* * *

'The name's Axel. A-X-E-L. Got it memorized?' Axel said nonchalantly. He'd recovered from his previous injury, much to Larxene's chagrin. 

'It's not nice to meet you,' Marluxia said, grinning deviously.

'Same here,' Larxene added.

There was an awkward silence.

'So, why are you here?' Marluxia asked boredly.

'You mean here, or _here_?' the other asked vaguely. He waved a hand around for emphasis.

'_Here_, of course, fucktard,' Marluxia said.

'Anorexia,' the man said simply.

The two looked at the other's body figure.

They could believe that.

'Now, it's your turn,' Axel said sadistically. 'Tell me _all_ about it so I can laugh in your faces later.'

The two looked at each other.

Larxene went first.

'Well, it's a _really _long story, but…'

'Spit it out.'

'Blood fetish.'

'What about the fairy?'

'Suicidal,' he answered.

'You tried to kill yourself?'

'Five times,' he answered plainly.

'You're kidding me.'

'Nope.'

'Remind me not to give you pointy objects, alright?'

'What is with the stereotypes? Everyone assumes that suicidal means cutting. I'd much rather down a couple painkillers than slit my wrists.' He shuddered. 'I'm not Larxene here.'

'I take insult at that,' Larxene proclaimed boredly.

* * *

'I want to go somewhere,' Marluxia said suddenly one day. 

Axel looked at him boredly. 'What d'you mean?'

'I want to get out of here. Because, _fuck_, I've been here just…too _fucking long_. I want to go outside. I haven't seen the snow in a while.'

'It's not snowing outside. It hasn't for a few years, you know. Global warming and all.' Axel said plainly.

Marluxia looked surprised. 'Really? It was snowing when I came here. Whatever. Not snow, then. Flowers. Or some crap like that. I'm getting sick of seeing your and Larxene's face, that's for sure.'

'You know you want me.'

'In your dreams. I'm not gay.'

'Why do you spend half an hour on your hair in the morning, then?' Axel retorted.

'I never said I wasn't bi.'

'Smart-ass.'

There was silence. This seemed to happening a lot lately.

It was comfortable, though. They didn't mind.

'Let's sneak out of here,' Axel said suddenly.

Marluxia opened one eye to stare at Axel. 'What do you mean?'

'You haven't been outside of this place in a while, have you?'

'…no, why?'

'Exactly. C'mon, let's get Larx and then we'll go.'

'How?' Marluxia asked.

'You have a hairpin, right?'

'Hundreds,' Marluxia deadpanned.

'Leave the rest up to me.'

Axel grinned.

* * *

Axel easily picked the lock on Marluxia's window, leaving it open for the three to slip out and back into the outside world. 

'Whoa,' Larxene breathed softly. 'It looks totally different from when I first came here.'

'When was that?' Axel asked.

'…ten or so years ago?'

'They built some new buildings, put in sidewalks and libraries. That's probably why.'

Marluxia blinked. 'Hey, that's where I used to live!' he exclaimed, pointing at an old apartment building.

Axel grinned. 'Let's go surprise your sister, then.'

'How d'you know about her?'

'You told me, remember?'

'Let's pretend I do.'

* * *

The door opened. 

'Yes?' a brunette asked, sticking her head out the door.

'Remember me?' Marluxia grinned sadistically.

'You…what are you doing out? They said you wouldn't be out for at least a few years,' she said, frowning.

Marluxia's eyes widened. 'You mean you went there? And you didn't visit me? Why?'

His sister shifted nervously.

'I…didn't have…time.'

'But you had time to ask when I'd be out?' he asked sarcastically.

'N-no, that's not it.'

'You just didn't want to see your brother, did you? Admit it!' he spat.

He ran down the hallway.

'Wait, Marluxia!' she called after him.

Larxene and Axel pinned her with dual stares, before running after the other.

* * *

'Shh, it's okay, it's okay,' Larxene cooed, unnaturally gentle, to a softly crying Marluxia. 

'I shouldn't care this much,' he whispered. 'I said I didn't care.'

'It's not your fault,' Axel said gently.

'Of _course_ it is!' Marluxia snapped. 'If _I_ wasn't in this **hellhole** then she wouldn't be like this!'

'No, it's not your fault,' Larxene said bitterly.

'It's _everyone's_ fault.'

* * *

'Holy sh—' Axel gasped, looking into Marluxia's room. 

'Larxene!' he screeched. 'Get your pale blonde ass over here right now!'

'The fuck is it, you dipshit?!' she snapped, storming down the hallway. Shit had happened. She was in a bad mood.

'Look,' he replied harshly, flinging a hand in the direction of the open doorway.

'You're _fucking kidding me_,' Larxene said, breathing in sharply.

* * *

'And how did he kill himself?' the counselor intoned drably. 

'I told you, he fucking choked himself to death!' Larxene retorted bitchily.

The fact still hadn't sunk in that Marluxia was dead,

He raised an eyebrow. 'How?'

She shrugged. 'I don't know. Well, I do, but I'm not telling you. Ask Axel. He was there first.'

'Alright then, Axel. How?'

'Hair ribbon.'

The counselor cursed inwardly.

_Suicidal kids…too innovative nowadays…_

'Thank you very much, the both of you.'

Larxene stood.

'C'mon, Axel. Let's go say goodbye.'

* * *

'Hey...Marluxia?' Larxene said softly, sitting near his body on the bed. 

'We came to visit you. Axel's here too.'

She closed his eyes with one hand.

'They said they're going to have your funeral soon.'

She paused.

'We'll be there. No matter what,' she added.

There were footsteps coming towards the door.

Axel quickly fixed the ribbon around Marluxia's neck, before standing.

'It was…nice seeing you,' he said quietly.

There was more silence.

'I'm sorry,' he said.

A tear dropped down from one eye.

'Axel…we should go.' Larxene said sadly.

They left.

* * *

'He's gone,' Larxene choked out, tears brimming. 

'I know,' Axel said sadly. 'I feel bad…it was my fault.'

'It was as much my fault too…if only we were there with him…'

'I shouldn't have said to go…'

'God. It feels so weird with only the two of us…' she said, crying slightly.

'I know, I know…' Axel said silently.

* * *

'You're Larxene and Axel, right?' the brunette asked the two. 

They looked up.

'_You_,' Larxene spat. '_You…_'

She smiled sadly. 'Yes. Me.'

There was a pause.

'You two were his friends, right?'

'What's it to you?' Axel asked coldly.

'…thanks for being his friends. He didn't have many, really.'

Larxene slapped her.

'_Bitch_,' she choked out. 'It's _your fault_. It's all _your fucking fault_! How dare you stand there like nothing's happened?'

'I'm sorry,' she said sadly.

She walked away, leaving the two to wallow in their own emotions.

* * *

'Hey, Marluxia?' Larxene asked. 

'We came to visit you again.'

Axel spoke up, smiling sadly. 'We both got released somehow. I think your sister bribed them to let us go.'

'Anyways,' he continued. 'It was…nice knowing you. I'm…sorry it had to end so fast.'

'Same here,' Larxene added.

She knelt by the gravestone, brushing dirt off with her fingertips.

'I brought you your hairpins. I thought you might need them.'

The wind blew by the two standing by the unmarked grave in the forest.

_thank you…_

* * *

Sorry about the crap ending, I was in a rush to finish. xD;; Actually, sorry for the crap story anyways.  
As I mentioned above, this was mainly for myself, to remind me that I'm still sane.  
In my time zone, this was posted at 7:07 07/07/07. (: It's a magical time. x3  
Yeah. I know, this dragged on for waay too long. Sorry, guys.  
I'm feeling slightly better now...this helped me get out of my emotional funk. (:  
So hopefully expect some writing in the near future, I'm totally feeling inspirational now 

...keep in contact with those you hold dear; it'll hurt when you don't. Just...trust me on this. Please. I know this all too well, unfortunately.

-namikun


End file.
